Take off your shoes!

 

Did you know your soles are covered in bacteria from poop! thats right you should always take off your sneaks or flats or stilettos upon entering a home to prevent spreading the nasties of the day (think bathroom floors, dog/people pee, chewing gum etc) from contaminating your floors. Carpet is a significant harborer of the grossness. So keep your toes painted and get some odor eaters because im not letting shoes in my door anymore! (on a side note, dogs paws also harbor bacteria, but less than shoes because they’re smaller so I think that stilettos are better because there is less surface area in contact with the ground, Super! Yet another excuse to buy Louboutins! Hooray!)

Dingo Stole My Baby!

 

No, its not the Dingos this time. It seems that their cousins, coyotes are attacking kids in california. Toddlers beware!

Update: Dove Fake Beauties are not Fake

Update: The Dove Fake Beauty story was well, a fake. Turns out, the ad agency who created the campaign is fessing-up , but only to simple color correction and film dust removal retouching on the Pro-Age product ads. They maintain that there was still no retouching on “big girls in undies” “Real Beauty” Ads. They say only the old ladies in the Pro-Age ads who posed in the nude were retouched (insert creepy joke here). Statements were apparently taken out of context.

Yeah, just like the cellulite and wrinkles were taken out of the photos . . .

we don’t need gun control, we need bullet control

Was anyone in Chicago over the weekend?

LOL suckers! Trick question.

Chances are if you were in Chicago last weekend you would have been shot, so there is no way you could be reading this!

There were 36 separate shootings and 9 homicides there over the weekend.  I imagine everyone was running around the city Matrix style avoiding bullets.

Give us the money Lebowski

Next time you stay in at hotel in Maine, make sure to yell out your name and any other identifying information you possibly can when encountering strangers, or else they might mistake you for someone else.

If Will Chan of Virginia Beach knew this information beforehand he wouldn’t have needed 12 staples to repair the hammer wounds on his head.

The joke is on the robbers, however, since their bat was broken in half from beating Willy so hard.  Next time they better get that insured!