Okay boys, a  word of warning. No matter how curious you become on weekends while simultaneously fixing your car (or whatever you use washers for) and cooking brat wurst, DO NOT, I REPEAT, DO NOT TRY IT! You’ll only end up like this poor guy. But lets think for a moment. It may seems somewhat logical, given that the companion to washers are nuts. However, by doing this “experiment”, you open yourself  “your brat wurst” up to speculation smirks from women wondering just what size washer you so stupidly got stuck on your brat wurst.

Here’s hoping if you get caught with your pants down, and washer on that its a JUMBO!

This tool guy from a random pool in Dallas, Texas, and Dr. Seuss’ Sneetches!

You Decide! Who’s hotter? (but more importantly, shouldnt we seek out the wretched tatoo parlor where this dude received this horrible tatoo and make them at least give him a refund?)

DANGER CREEPY GUYS:  Go to your pantry and throw away all your toad venom it could kill you!

After reading this story I have to ask, should we really be telling these people this is dangerous? Aren’t we better off letting the whole “survival of the fittest thing” play out and kill off all the creepy toad venom eating people?

If you were one of those people afflicted with an addiction to Hotornot.com for five minutes in college, perhaps this will be an exciting link for you. You can take a test and discover your dateability. However, I will caution you. actually taking said quiz, automatically lowers your date-ability by 2 points beacuse you’re a dork. That’s not on the test, but that’s my rule, because who really takes these things anyway? PS.incidentally, i was a 7). Enjoy!

No, I’m not talking about Barack Obama wrapping up the Democratic Nomination, I’m talking about David Cook winning American Idol.  If any of you y2kers care what I think about the American Idol finish, check back after the break.

 So, I know some of you all probably think I am bias, because this guy spent a few years of his life mastering his craft in my favorite city: Tulsa, Oklahoma, but this guy really is awesome (anyone that saw the Guitar Hero commercial from last night has to agree with me, youtube it if you haven’t seen it.)  I was 100% convinced that the other David from Utah had this thing wrapped up.  Maybe it was the fact that he was a teenager and little teen girls in reality probably run this country right now (by that I mean they probably have the most buying power).  It also could have been the fact that at the age of 17, that could could flat out sing.  He is one of the best singers I have heard in a while.  The kid has natural talent to sing and will have a good career singing songs that other people write.  BUT, David Cook is a natural.  He is so relaxed on stage, he took risks during the whole competition, and refused to back down, even when people said he should sing one of his “money” songs for the final episode.  That, by the way, is exactly what the other David did when he sang the best song ever written for the finale.  For the second time this season, he sang “Imagine” by John Lennon.  For those of you that know me, you know how I feel about John.  For those that don’t, I’ll just say that I think he is the best song-writer that has ever lived.  Period.  Now the fact that Archuleta decided to sing only the last verse of “Imagine” makes me mad.  But, that is a problem I have with the whole show in general.  I don’t know how you all feel about music, but I consider it a work of art, much like I consider film.  You wouldn’t want to watch 1/2 or even 1/4 of a movie, so why would you want to hear that much of a song.  So, when they do that to Beatles’ music (especially John Lennon music) I get a little bitter.   But, those are the rules of the show, and they have to follow them.  That being said, I thought Archuleta was a good singer (as I said earlier) but he messed up too many times (forgetting words, to Beatles’ songs none the less) but also was a bit too cheesy.  I know that seems like an obvious statement for American Idol, but he took it to the extreme.  That being said, I would like to congratulated David Cook.  HIs version of songs (although, admittedly, a lot of them had already been done by “established” musicians) were nonetheless different for a show of this kind.  I hope he has a good career and does not forget the years he spent in T-Town.  Thanks for hanging in there for all that, hopefully I will have some spare time in the near future to talk about things that reallly matter, such as the future of our country or Sooner Football.

In what’s the funniest/most bizarre story I’ve heard in awhile, a welsh man “dressed up as Darth Vader, wearing a garbage bag for a cape, and assaulted the founders of a group calling itself the Jedi church”.

“What?!?!”, you’re undoubtedly asking yourself. Apparently this man, Arwel Wynne Hughes, attacked the founder of the church, who calls himself “Master Jonba Hehol” with a metal crutch as he shouted “Darth Vader! Jedis!”

“Hughes claimed he couldn’t remember the incident, having drunk the better part of a 2 1/2-gallon box of wine beforehand.”

So how do we know so many great details about this oh-so-memorable tale of light vs. dark? The members of this church had a video camera set up to film a light saber battle between members of the congregation when Hughes broke up the ceremony. If anyone knows if video is floating around the Internet, please let me know cause I would LOVE to see it.

Another freaking weird note found in the article states that “In the 2001 United Kingdom census, 390,000 — 0.7 percent of the population — listed Jedi as their religion.”

A&E announced today that “Dog the Bounty Hunter” will return to the network despite his racist remarks to his son in a taped phone conversation. That’s great, but does anyone see the irony of this dude’s name from the Congress of Racial Equality? 

“Niger Innis, national chairman of the Congress of Racial Equality, said Chapman’s use of the racial slur was wrong. But he noted that Chapman “took ownership of the harm it caused” and “sought to turn his life around.”

Just checkin . . .

If you think your family sucks, just be thankful you’re not related to this guy!