Best Sandwich in Dallas

The Italian Stallion at Jimmy’s has my vote for the best sandwhich in Dallas.

Incase You’re Still Undecided Who To Vote For…

If you are still undecided who to vote for after Tuesday night’s Candidates Debate.  Maybe this picture will help.

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That’s right…Obama the bigger penis.

By economy do you mean world?

Maura Reynolds (LA Times) wrote a rather interesting article yesterday regarding the president of the United States and his obvious economic shortcomings.  In this post, Reynolds uses results derived from a LA Times/Bloomberg poll which reveal some entertaining evidence amongst Republicans.  Apparently 22% of the same individuals that voted this winner into office claim that the United States economic conditions have improved.  WHAT!!!  Are they serious?  If feel compelled to quote Clark Griswold here, “take a look around…we are sitting at the threshold of HELL!”  Is this 22% so preoccupied with spending their stimulus package on monster truck rally tickets that they don’t realized the status of our economy/world isn’t exactly par?  Hello, these people should quit watching reruns of Roseanne and start educating themseves on what is actually occurring in the world before making any comments…just a thought.

How to Start Your Own Pointless War

If you are reading this post to learn how to really start a war, well then you’re just as creepy as the individual displayed in the associated image.  There is one thing I can tell all you potential warlords out there; it’s not going to be cheap.  My advice is for you to start raising the price of fuel and food, in your country, right now.  The average cost of a aimless war these days is somewhere north of ½ a Trillion Dollars.  Way to think it through Bush…your intelligence has made us all proud.

Big Speaker Guy

 

 

An individual pulled up next to me while at a stoplight today.  His “cool guy” speakers were so damn loud my mirrors were literally shaking on my car.  WHAT THE EFF!  Are people still buying these big ass speakers?  Wasn’t this a trend 10 years ago?  New flash big speaker guy; you’re an adult now.  The 90’s are over, so stop being an asshole, sell your big, annoying, speakers and pay off that BMG account that you started when you were 15.

 

Texas: How do you right wrong?

Everything is bigger in Texas…right? If you don’t believe me just ask Mr. James Woodard how BIG of a mistake the Texas justice system has made. The Texas justice system has stolen 27 years of Mr. Woodard’s life. How does a state begin to make right what is wrong? How many people have to be proven innocent after being wrongfully accused, before Texas will reconsider their “fast lane” approach to the death penalty? Mr. Woodard, considering that computers were the size of bedrooms when you were incarcerated, you might be less inclined to read this post. If by some chance you do read this, I want to say sorry on behalf of all those individuals that didn’t believe you. Oh, and in case you didn’t hear, the Oklahoma Sooners won the Football National Championship in 1985 and 2000.

WIN, DEATH, SHOW…R.I.P. Eight Belles

Despite the fact that I pick the Oklahoma owned horse Dennis of Cork to show, the feeling of excitement was replaced with sympathy.  While all the attention was on the winner Big Brown, the three year old filly, Eight Belles, was congratulated on finishing second with a euthanizing shot.  I somewhat understand the reasoning behind the euthanasia, I just find myself wondering why death is still the answer to a broken leg?  I am by no means a horse expert, I’m just curious on what is stopping equestrian medical technology from advancing?

 

Land of the Free…Home of the Fat

With the consistent rise in fuel prices, more and more individuals are becoming aware of their current driving habits. This is a good thing, our highway systems needed to go on a diet. Do you know what else needs to be on a diet…FAT PEOPLE? Although it might be necessary, raising the price of fuel can wait. Obesity is a bigger issue in America right now. I say, forget gas and let us raise the price of cookies, fries and doughnuts. I get sick of fat people claiming they’re on a diet and that their weight condition is the result of a thyroid condition. Really!!!…I guess the fat lady in front of me at subway today was on the foot long meatball (1170 cal.) and a six pack of cookies (1260 cal.) diet. Guess what, Jarred didn’t get skinny by eating 6 cookies and he sure as hell didn’t get a thyroid transplant. Here is a diet for you; it’s called…Quit Making Excuses, Get Off Your Ass and Work Out Diet!!! Remember: “Anything worth obtaining requires discipline…NOT Twinkies”.

Exotic Pet Guy

Here is an individual I will never understand.  This guy has said “NO” to the typical household pet.  Instead, he tries to impress the ladies with a 12-foot snake, alligator or perhaps some annoying ass bird that nobody can understand what the hell it is trying to say.  Really exotic pet guy!  Here is an idea, get rid of the damn Gila Monster, move out of your parents basement, buy yourself a dog, and try socializing with a member of the opposite sex!

 

Y2kers Guide to College

Lesson 1:

One should not be foolish and fall asleep before the end of the party.  

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