The Worst Invention Ever…

…HIPPIES! I think i speak for most of America when i say that i wish hippies would take a long walk off a short pier! You quit trying for “the cause” years ago, you stink, and you use the word hippie to mask the real word…lazy! As Jenny said to Forrest Gump, “Go home”.

The new age of hippie is worse than any other. Ive coined two phrases for the two very distinct type of hippies we have now. First, we have the “get out of my dads Range Rover wearing torn up clothes and having a ratty beard with the ability to afford to go on tour with Phish all summer and buy drugs and other crap but have no job”. This hippie is the “Trust Fund Hippie”. Easy to spot hitting his bong while playing the PS3 on his 54″ HDTV in his loft apartment.

My second hippie, whom is much worse, is the “rant about why George Bush sucks and how capitalism ruins everything and get all my information from the Daily Show…and peace and kitty cats and why pot should be legal and no blood for oil….but really end up going to Walmart once a week listening to your iPod while driving through KFC in your ‘87 Ford Tempo that leaks oil everywhere and has that gay “Coexist” sticker on the back”. This, my friends, is the “Hippiecrit”.

Woodstock ‘69. Peace, Love, and Music.

Woodstock ‘99. Violence, looting, and rape. Thanks Fred Durst!

Sure most of the music from the 60s was awesome, and being a hippie kind of meant something then, but being a hippie now is a step up from being homeless. Its a glorified homeless person. Animals clean themselves, why dont you?

PS Check out the boobs behind the mud people. I guess i like hippies now!